May 14, 2025

Hey, hi, hello my beautiful humans! 👽⚡️

Are there any Rick and Morty fans in the house? Want to know a little secret? That’s usually what I’ve got playing in the background while I write quotes. Yup, nothing like absolute chaos and sarcastic science to get the creative juices flowing. Right now, I’m watching the episode where Morty ruins spaghetti night by casually dropping the fact that the spaghetti actually comes from spaghetti planet where the people are made of spaghetti (and that’s all I’ll say about this episode, but IYKYK)🍝🫠

...Oh. You don’t watch Rick and Morty but you get the gist of Rick and Morty and you’re questioning my sanity? Totally fair. How about we just jump right into the quote then, shall we? 😬

“Urgency doesn’t just speed us up. It pulls us away from what truly matters to us. Slowness returns us to our centre so that our actions can be guided from within rather than hijacked by the demands and distractions of the external world. Slowness helps us rise above the noise. Slowness is a path back to our values. Back to our goals. Back to ourselves.” – Nicola Jane Hobbs ✨

Okieee, so today’s quote was actually requested by someone very special to me. And before I dive in, just a little disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, but I am someone who’s been working through this exact topic in therapy, so I’m going to share what I’ve learned from my own experience (the good, the messy, and the deeply human). Take what lands, leave the rest.

Let’s talk about urgency: that feeling that everything is high stakes, everything is important, and everything needs to be handled yesterday! It creates this invisible current that pulls us out of ourselves. When we move too fast, we stop being intentional. We stop choosing. We stop tuning in.

Instead, we start reacting. Constantly. Automatically. Even when we know what actually matters to us - like spending quality time with the people we love, working on a project that lights us up, or just sitting down for dinner without a screen - urgency pulls us away. And without even realizing it, we’re prioritizing the loudest voice in the room… which is rarely the most important one.

And the way we respond? It teaches people how to treat us.

When I started my new job, this is exactly what my therapist reminded me of. She knew how hard I’d worked at my last company, and how often I let that urgency override my own needs. I mean, they had me running myself into the ground. Late nights, constant Slack messages, mixed with zero boundaries — we’ve all heard the story 100 times by now — it was a lot.

So when this new chapter began, she looked me dead in the virtual eyes (as therapists do) and said,“Set the tone now. You teach people how to treat you.” YES. MA’AM. 👏🏻

If you reply to every message instantly, people will start to expect it. If you say yes to every last-minute ask, they’ll keep coming. If you bend over backward without ever pausing, people won’t assume you're being generous, they'll assume it’s just how you operate.

Another example? Let’s say you’re always the one picking up the slack on a team project, even when it’s not your responsibility. Guess what? That becomes your unspoken role. Not because anyone asked you to, but because you trained them to expect it.

And if you’re a mom? Oh my god, it gets even more real.

If you always say yes to every school function, every weekend birthday party, every sport extravaganza, every “Mom, I need this last-minute costume for spirit day tomorrow”, then that becomes the norm. If you respond to every “Mooooom” before you’ve even finished your own sentence, you’re telling the world (and your household) that your needs come last.

And yeah, I suppose they do need you sometimes (😉). But other times? They can probably wait. I know some of you have husbands and dads in the house. WHERE THEY AT?! 😜

(P.S. I know some of you reading this are men/dads or you send this to your partners — I’m just giving you a hard time. Y’all are also crushing it. Parenting is just hard in general 🫶🏻)

This brings me to something I’ve had to learn the hard way: Moving fast doesn’t make you more worthy.

Urgency loves to whisper in our ears that our value comes from how quickly we respond, how much we can juggle, how “available” we are. That productivity is the currency of worthiness.

But that’s not the truth. Not even close.

Slowness, on the other hand, says something entirely different:

Slowness says: You are not here to prove anything.
Slowness says: Your presence matters more than your pace.
Slowness says: You get to define what success and balance look like - not your inbox, not your to-do list, not your job title.

And if you're a mom who’s felt like she’s been running a nonstop marathon just to keep everyone else afloat -
Slowness says: Your presence is enough.
Slowness says: You don’t have to earn your rest.
Slowness says: You don’t have to overextend to be a good parent.
The best thing you can model for your kids? Boundaries. Self-respect. And a little space to breathe.

One of my favorite metaphors (shoutout to my therapist for this gem) is to imagine your attention like a jar of marbles. Let’s say you’ve got 20 marbles. If you focus them all on one thing, you’re fully present, powerful, and intentional.

But the second you start dividing them up — one marble here for that text message, a couple more for your emails and Slacks (or Teams), another few for worrying about next week’s plans or what’s for dinner — your focus gets scattered. Your energy gets diluted. Suddenly, you’re everywhere and nowhere at once.

That’s why it’s so important to protect your attention.
Be thoughtful about where you place your marbles, and choose the things that truly matter to you.

So you don’t, you know… lose your marbles. 😉

And I know… I know, slowing down can feel scary. And uneasy. Especially when you’re used to moving at warp speed. Especially when hustle has been your default mode for years. It can feel uncomfortable. It can feel like you’re doing something wrong.

But let me be the one to tell you:
You’re not falling behind.
You’re coming home to yourself (Sound familiar? Because I’ve said this before!).

There’s power in pausing.
There’s strength in setting boundaries.
There’s beauty in choosing intentionality over chaos, even when the world around you is spinning.

So maybe today, you let that email sit in the inbox a little longer.
Maybe you don’t jump to clean up the toys the second they hit the floor.
Maybe you sit in your car for an extra 90 seconds and just breathe before heading inside.

Maybe you remind yourself that you are not an emergency. You’re just a human being. On a giant floating rock. No one needs to be sending emails at 7:30AM 🌎

Alright, I think that’s enough musing for now. I’m off to finish watching this spaghetti planet situation unravel. (Season 7, Episode 4 — That’s Amorte — if you’re curious 👀)

Sending you a little nudge to slow down today, even just a tiny bit. You’re doing better than you think.

Stay soft, stay strong, stay weird, always.

Trust your journey. Rest your souls, little saplings. Always leave people better than you found them, and have a gentle day and a relaxing weekend ahead! 👽🫶🏻🧿🌱